SAYING GOODBYE

 

 

I stand before you today, without introduction, with one of the toughest jobs Iíll ever have -

saying goodbye to our Bridget. At first I eagerly accepted my task, but today I must admit with much emotion.

 

But before we say our final goodbye, Bridget wanted me to answer some of those open-ended questions racing through our minds and tearing at our hearts right now. "What could I have done?" "What should I have said?" But most importantly, "Why?" - a question which in our lifetime will never be answered.

 

How could a woman so young, with such an overwhelming love for her family and friends, have so selfishly chosen to leave us now.

 

How could a human being, blessed with an abundance of knowledge, creativity and veracity to experience lifeís experience to their fullest, yet not able to see the potential we all tried so

desperately to show her.

 

Some of us did not understand Bridget. She was good at confusing people and talked a good game. She often led us into whirlwind. Nor did any of us understand the real illness from which she

suffered - Manic Depression, a Bipolar Disorder, which is a genetically structured disease with winners and losers.

 

For those of us, this disease, it is a mental illness with periods of extreme highs (excitement, excess joy and a high degree of energy) and extreme lows with feelings of excessive sadness

and always having feelings of guilt that youíve hurt those who love you most.

 

My husband, my parents, my brother, my relatives and my friends have ridden these ups and downs

of this emotional roller coaster. Itís like cancer, diabetes or heart disease - this illness is life long and never goes away.

 

Although the act itself is selfish and unforgivable, and believe me, in no way am I justifying

what Iíve done, with overwhelming feelings of guilt, I just didnít want to hurt you anymore.

I couldnít learn to love myself - so please, forgive me.

I love you. I love you. I love you all so very much.

 

Therefore, we must forgive ourselves. We must forgive Bridget. There was nothing we could have said or done to change the course of events that took place a few days ago.

 

Bridget is now finally at peace. Her mind is at rest. May she now rest in peace. May the sun

warm her face and the wind be always at her back. Iím sure everyone here today will agree,

her real calling in life was that of an angel and she is probably already sitting beside one of us today. Iím hoping itís me.

 

We love you, we love you, we love you so very much.

 

Goodbye shore buddy.

 

 

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